I’m feeling anxious about having two children! 😬😬

‘You know baby number 2 won’t be as good as Freddie was! You never get two the same!’  ‘Your in for a rude of wakening!’ These are just some of the statements I’ve been hearing very frequently lately, with comments like this it just adds to my anxiety of having and coping with two children.

Lately I’ve been thinking how swell we have it! We have reached an age were Freddie understands bribing, we’re past most of the baby stuff (roll on potty training) and we are able to enjoy getting out as a family.  My husband and I have time in the evenings for ourselves, to watch TV or go out somewhere. Life is pretty routine based and calm and smooth! I like routine!!….I’ll add- he’s still a toddler…so calm and smooth not exactly but you get my sentiment 😂.

Somewhere in the not too distant future things are about to change, it’s going to change for us all. Firstly I’m scared for Freddie..I know having another baby, a sibling for him-will be great.   I have 5 of them myself and I couldn’t be without them.  However he’s been used to being solo for over 2 years..have I left the gap too big? Is he going to turn into a horror? Is he, dare I say it (with a lump in my throat) going to feel less loved?  At times I look at him and feel tears welling up in my eyes, dear love him he hasn’t a clue what’s about to happen and I don’t want anything to change. Our evenings of getting cosy and watching utter nonsense are about to get hit! I miss it already…

Secondly & selfishly-What about me! I googled life with two kids and read one line saying ‘life with two is impossible,’ I didn’t read any further.  Am I going to be run ragged? Will I be able to do it all? Will I have time to be a fulfilled human/wife? And most importantly will I have enough love and time for two?

Anyone who has any wisdom and care to enlighten me please do.  While my anxiety on this is at the forefront of my mind I still remember the newborn days! And I know how wonderful Freddie is and I keep reminding myself how special it’s going to be to introduce him to a new brother or sister.  I also know that I feel competent as a mother, I’m very confident in saying I’m a good mum! Surely that’s the most important thing!

I hope I update this by next year..saying all these worries are valid however they aren’t important.

I’ll keep you posted! xx

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5 Comments

  1. Danielle
    February 7, 2018 / 9:19 am

    My little boy is two and my little girl is 10 months! And…… the first few weeks were tough and I probably expected much more from my 15month old than was rational but we make these mistakes, accept and well hopefully learn!
    I had all those emotions you are describing and when I went into labour and my first born had to go to Granny and Granda I wept his whole world was going to change and it was my fault!!
    But I honestly believe none to one is the biggest transition but you learn to adapt and soon hopefully love it! For me going from one to two was tough but it’s never easy and of course there are times I love to exaggerate we all do!
    Balance is key, take the support and any breaks on offer I never did this with number one but I did with two when the offer of a babysitter comes I take it and maybe just clean the house but that’s just what I need at times!
    Top tip: pick up a small box and put some items that he loves; a snack, toy, book, (refill and it can be existing items he has not new you are maybe just reigniting and interest)!something you can help home with one hand when your feeding baby I found this a lifesaver because it was those times I found most tough in the beginning and someone gave me this advice!
    So after that ramble my advice is take a hand whenever it’s offered/or ask! Relax you can do it there will be tough days and lovely days remember they will come but go again and it’s always worth it!! Good luck! Also dont panic about what you read we can all exaggerate and write things in haste when we have had an impossible day and maybe not exaggerate at all but we are all so different and so are our babies!
    Good luck 😘

  2. Barbara
    February 7, 2018 / 3:23 pm

    Lovely Blog post, i only have one child now but we plan to have another in a while. And this is one of the reasons holding me back. I hope to see another blog post in a year following on from this! xx

  3. Rachel
    February 7, 2018 / 5:21 pm

    Don’t feel bad for feeling this way, I think it’s totally natural and somewhat reassuring that you ask yourself this. Also don’t worry, my two kids where 13 months apart and while I will admit it was a little tough they are the best of friends and any bad days by far are outweighed by the good days! Enjoy every second xx

  4. Judith Westwood
    February 11, 2018 / 9:30 pm

    I remember (a long time ago) when I was expecting my second child, feeling that I couldn’t love another child. My mother said,”you will;there will be space and your heart makes room”…..she was right ! I went on to have four children, now adults

  5. Jenny
    February 19, 2018 / 8:34 am

    A little like Judith has as. Goodness reading this brought back all my fears of this very same subject. I was adamant I couldn’t love another person like I loved my son. (I knew I would love them but surely not as much). Someone then told me as I voiced my concerns, your heart grows, and honestly that is so true. My son was 2 years 10 months when my daughter came along. The same gap I had with my brother and I planned it that way. My son is now approaching 5 and my daughter approaching two and I would say my heart is still growing each time they do something or say something new, or hug, or help each other. The little soft voice he puts on when talking to her and the way she constantly hugs him. It’s adorable. Once you realise you had nothing to worry about that way you begin to worry does baby no.2 get the same attention and input as you gave baby no.1 because now all of a sudden you don’t have all day to yourselves (when on mat leave) we had nursery runs, anchor boys, football , birthday parties. My very wise friend then said maybe baby 2 doesn’t get that same time from you that baby 1 got, but she has a sibling and someone else to play with and engage with her when you aren’t! So that’s an advantage for her. All of a sudden that made things seem alot better too! They both have my heart and are such different little characters. My advice: enjoy it. All of it.xx

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